I want to walk on stilts...naked
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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