hell yes lets make some ravioli
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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