i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
