I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
