I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
