I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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