I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
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