If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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