i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
