Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry Amandahhhhh hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio

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(954): View more from Florida

youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party

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(480): View more from Arizona

he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug

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(225): View more from Louisiana

Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....

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(540): View more from Virginia

Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations

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(732): View more from New Jersey

just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?

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