I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
