Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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