so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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