Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
