Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
