You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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