bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize