she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize