Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
