after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
