But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
