At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
