Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
