I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
