I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
i need some magic done to my vagina
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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