One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
