My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
