So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
