I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
