i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
