What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize