at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
