I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
