Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
