I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Randomize
