Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
