They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
