I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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