dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
