i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
