And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
