And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
