I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
