I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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