actually, I'm a sock model
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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