did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
