Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
