I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
