sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Randomize