.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We're not piercing ourselves today.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize