Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
