before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
