in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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