I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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