This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize